So, here we go. My testimony is very long, I have been through so many things that it cannot be described just on a small page. I know I need to write a book, so other people can understand how badly they need the Lord Jesus, so that they may know that there is help for them in their torment, and they do not need to go through it. And there is hope even for the vilest sinners, there is hope in the name of Jesus.
They need to repent and call to the Lord Jesus Christ for help.
I do not have much time for writing but I have to do it somehow, the Holy Spirit gave me the beginning, wow, awesome, because for many years I had no idea how to start.
I will be publishing some of the pages here to make my testimony known for whoever wants to read and to destroy our enemy, the devil and his demons.
Praise the Lord! We have power and authority over all devils because of the cross and the sacrifice of Jesus Christ our beautiful Saviour.
Please, take it seriously, there is no joking with God Almighty and your enemy will tear you to pieces if you do not turn to Jesus. Believe me, I went through fire to be set free.
You have to stop sinning, you need to be holy, you need to walk in holiness and get out of this wicked world, I mean, to stop being engaged in the wicked life. You know 10 commandments, you know what the sin is. I beg you, repent fast and do not play games, you know that you will have to answer before God for what you have done on this earth, after you die, you will stand before Holy God, and you will tremble if you rejected His Son Jesus Christ. I do not care, if you are a Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or anything else. I am telling you, God is One, it is the God of Israel, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and we have access to Him through the Lord Jesus Christ and only through Him. The bible is the only true word of the living God and our standard of truth. You need to know the word of God and you need to love the truth. I cannot express how serious it is. Believe me, I didn’t think like that 10 years ago, I lived deeply in sin and in the world but now, I have become a totally different person. When I was still at the beginning of my journey I met 3 wonderful Christian women, they prayed for me to close the third eye, which was opened during reiki ritual and now was tormenting me. One of them, an older lady said- you are going to be a very strong witness for Jesus. And she was right. I am, I love the Lord like crazy because he saved me, He rescued me, the Lord, God Almighty came down to my little room and saved me from the devil and his demons. Amazing! I am still in awe and I will give Him glory for ever.
I am very passionate and emotional and I would like to scream in the streets – Jesus is Lord! Jesus is Lord! He is alive! Seek His face!
But not many people like it, and most hate being told about Jesus so, I will express my emotions and love and gratitude to Him here on my blog, because I can write here what I want and nobody will tell me to be quiet.
JESUS IS LORD, THE LORD OF lords, AND KING OF kings,
PRAISE HIM PEOPLE AND LOVE HIM BECAUSE HE DIED TO SAVE US FROM HELL AND ETERNAL DAMNATION, HE IS AWESOME AND WONDERFUL AND HIS LOVE IS INDESCRIBABLE.
So, this is the first page of my book, it will be probably edited and corrected still many times but for now, it is this way. I will try to write next pages soon.
“Just kill yourself! Just do it and finish it all! You are sh….! Your life is sh….! What’s the point? You are worthless! Your life is worthless! Just kill yourself and you will have peace at last! Just do it! “
I had left my work at the computer desk at home a few minutes earlier, and was walking to the nearest shop to get cigarettes, as I was a heavy smoker at that time. I left the house in quite a good mood but suddenly my my mind was flooded with these horrible words. A hateful voice was screaming in my head and telling me to kill myself.
I was stunned. I knew it wasn’t just me and my thoughts. It was something so foreign to me. It was just awfully weird, but I couldn’t stop it. The words kept coming to my mind and the voice kept screaming. The shop was 10 minutes away, and I kept walking, shocked and frightened, not knowing what to do about the voice and how to shut it up.
This flood of suicidal thoughts and orders to kill myself was continuous, and I was getting more and more uneasy and scared. On my way back, my emotions were unbearable. Something weird was going on and I couldn’t see it, something was fighting in me and I didn’t know what it was. When I reached my house I was losing my nerve and was utterly shaken. I opened the door and ran into the bedroom. Kneeling down I burst into tears.
The floodgates opened and I cried uncontrollably for about 10 minutes or so. I didn’t have the slightest idea what power was controlling me.
After the crying stopped, the voice was gone. Suddenly there was peace in my mind and I was back to normal, only awfully shaken and shocked because I didn’t know what to think about it and how to come back to normal. I had an impression that an evil, invisible power was trying to destroy me but God Almighty, to whom I had recently come back, was fighting for me to keep me alive
A few weeks or months before that, I had taken deliberate decision to come back to God, the living God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the Father of the Lord Jesus Christ. I had known Him in the past but forsook Him for many years. Even worse than that, I rejected Him altogether.
I want to tell you my story, how I cried to Him for help and how He came, delivering me from the hands of that terribly evil and cruel enemy, and how He fought for me, teaching me how I myself should fight in the name of Jesus, and at the same time cleansing me from my sins, and proving that He is alive and He is mighty and my only helper.
I want to show you how hard that battle was, how real and true the Lord Jesus is and also, how real and true is the word of God, His Holy Book called the Bible.
This story will be exciting and challenging but it will certainly not be boring. You may believe it or not but I know the one in whom I believe and am not disappointed. My God, My Jesus is a mighty warrior and He proved to me that He is our only hope now and in the eternal future.
The events of the past few years of my life changed me radically and I want to give glory to my Lord Jesus by writing this testimony, this documentary of my life that was spared from destruction, only because of Jesus Christ, the Messiah, the Son of the living God and the cross, because of the mercy of God, who rescued me and delivered me from the hands of the enemy who was too strong for me.
My testimony of how Jesus Christ delivered me from demonic torment of reiki and other wicked spirits.
When I was very young, at the age of 21 I met Jesus Christ through my Christian friend and got saved. I mean, the encounter with the living God was so powerful that it changed my life dramatically. I fell in love with Jesus and was overwhelmed with His love. Unfortunately, nobody told me to read the bible and study it diligently, so I read tones of books about Jesus but did not know the Word of God too well. After about two years I got married and my husband was a catholic man but he deceived me into believing that he was saved as well. Next few years passed and my disappointment with marriage and lots of troubles with my husband took me away from Jesus for good. At one point I said, Christianity was not enough for me and I needed something deeper, forgetting altogether about the cross. I started digging in New Age, and was drawn to it like a moth to the light. Next step was initiation into reiki first degree through my mum who wanted all of us, my sister and myself to be able to help one another as she was constantly suffering from some health issues. I believed reiki was good, I myself was healed from very bad back pain by so called reiki master. My initiation into reiki, which looked like magical ritual, opened so called third eye which caused me to see a ball of white and violet light swirling and pulsating when my eyes were closed and I was in a state of relaxation, the reiki master said it was very good. Shortly after my initiation lots of bad things started happening, which led to my dramatic divorce and lots of troubles, it also caused my personality to change which I was not aware of. Some time later I forgot about reiki as I was not very much interested in meeting people and healing them, I was initated only because my mum talked me into it. A few times I used reiki on myself and my children, it did work.
Many years passed during which I was living in sin and far away from the Lord Jesus, totally mixed up spiritually, always seeking the truth and spiritual depth as well as help in life as my life was not very successful filled with various problems. About 15 years after initiation into reiki I was so much troubled by fear that I remembered one day, there was God of the bible, there was Jesus whom I used to know and loved so much and maybe He could help me to get rid of that tormenting fear. God had everything organised, He knew I was going to need Him, He prepared me and showed me the book I needed to read to lead me to repentance. I was sitting and thinking about Him and suddenly I saw a Christian book next to me in the room where I just was. I took that book and started reading, I read almost half of it and saw at the back the sinner’s prayer. I read that prayer with all my heart ( I used to go to catholic church so this prayer was something new to me). I lied down on the sofa with closed eyes and was consumed by thinking about God and repenting from my sins. As usual I had the ball of light swirling and pulsating in front of me with my eyes closed. Suddenly I saw a snake coming out of that light like never before, it was made of white light, after that snake, there were various insects coming out one after another. I was so shocked, I could not open my eyes, it took me a long while to do it and I sat down. I was petrified and just kept asking myself – My God, what was that, what was that?!
I had no answer as in the past I did not believe in the devil and hell even if I was in love with Jesus, I just picked up what I like from Christianity, basically, I did not really know God too well. So, now, I had no idea what that snake meant and why I saw such a thing, I even did not remember about reiki at all, it was just long in the past. So, now I was sitting and terrified absolutely not knowing what to think about it. Next days passed and I thought I was good, I repented and now it was just to be love and Jesus walking with me again. But how wrong I was. I tried to pray and seek God but could not find Him, I could not find that amazing love and presence of God with me, there was a wall between me and Him and I had no idea why. Eventually Holy Spirit brought to my memory reiki. One day I just was reminded about it and I started searching on internet any Christian information about reiki and what that really was in the eyes of God. I found a website called ‘reikidangers.com and the info there was so shocking to me I almost got heart attack. I read that reiki was satanic, that any ritual initiation is satanic, I found names of demons of reiki that enabled healing and power and energy in hands, I also found info that many reiki masters finished in psychiatric hospitals or just demoniacally possessed. I read that some of them were delivered from demons of reiki by water baptism and so on, there was lots of into there, but you can imagine my shock reading all of this when I had forgotten I was even initiated into it, and I was positive that reiki was good, even the reiki master who many times lied hands on me and trained me, he always prayed to God for protection so there was n o suspicion and nothing wrong first of all…Why reiki should be evil? But now, I had my answer and now I was so scared I cannot describe. I new I terribly offended God and I betrayed my Jesus, I even unknowingly and by ignorance became a friend of the devil. How terrible. What could be done now? God was angry with me, He was not that quick accept me again. Now, I started repenting from everything I did, they send me a book about reiki and how to repent from it. I begged the Lord to forgive me. But when you betray the Lord and worship other gods after you knew Christ, there is no easy way. I believe that what the Lord wanted me to do was to realize how serious my sin was, and how much I needed to pursue Him and understand and to know Him, so I will never do it again.
And the battle started. No, not the battle but war. The devil was not that easy and not willing to let me go. The more I prayed and spent time with the Lord, the more he was trying to scare me and torment me. In the meantime I found a book about the Holy Spirit and prayed a specific prayer to be filled with Him and it was so powerful and dramatic, it was like the Holy Spirit washed me with the river of the living water from all my sins from the past. I was so amazed and shocked by what was happening in my life. The Lord truly used supernatural hipper power of the Holy Spirit to help me walk this new walk. Shortly after that, my problems started with my mind. I started hearing voices in my head telling me to kill myself, screaming at me to stop praying, voices mocking my God, hateful voices screaming to me not to read the bible, sceaming, where is my God?
I was also drawn by the devil to read about hell and demons and the more I read the more scared I was. I also got heavy depression, paralysing fear, confusion of the mind, running thoughts, insomnia, my brain felt like it was squeezed by invisible metal belt, I was also being hit with various pains in my body. One night I was almost killed by strange, horrible pain in my stomach, I frankly thought I was going to die, all my life strength was gone, something was moving in my belly and the pain was horrific. I went to the kitchen to look for the cure but could not find anything, suddenly I lost all my strengt and collapsed on the floor, I dragged myself to bed and in bed was just repeating – Jesus help me, Jesus help me, for a long time I could do only this. And the Lord did help me, I survived that night and woke up without any pain. Things like that were happening to me all the time, the more I prayed and pursued the Lord the more I was attacked.
I was terrified and did not know how to stop it. I found help nowhere. I could not understand why I was attacked like this and why prayer very night did not help. I started going to church but nobody there had any idea about demons and I could not talk about it. I met two pastors but none of them was really interested or wanted to help, I suppose they did not know anything about deliverance. I was also seeking baptism in water but this also was too difficult and complicated for the church as they want people to wait and prepare but I needed it right now. So, I gave up on water baptism. After many months of this battle I gave up on God. For the second time in my life I said, God, I have enough, I want back my peace and normal life. Thank you very much, I am out of it. I stopped praying and reading my Bible. Immediately all my troubles stopped and I came back to my sinful life. Immediately, all troubles stopped and I was living again in peace of mind all those demonic troubles. I knew the devil won but I had no idea what else I could do.
But the Lord was not finished with me. He was watching.
After about 8 months of living in peace, one Sunday morning I heard a voice speaking to me and He said – Go to church. I had no intention to do it, as I stopped going long time ago and was happy. But I heard that voice all Sunday and it was so strong I could not resist any longer and I said, OK, I will go and I did go in the evening. I expected nice meeting, singing songs and good preaching. But this time it was very different. I could not join the Christians there, I could not sing with them, I was blocked spiritually from being with them and I felt like there was a glass wall between me and all those happy people. It was very dramatic and I was very scared. After a while I started having problems with breathing and I started feeling rejected. I felt very powerful , overwhelming rejection by God Himself, it felt worse, much worse than rejection by mother, father and anybody else, it was so hard I could hardly breathe, I felt like I was not wanted there, and I did not belong there in that church, like total outsider or a fish without water, I cannot even describe how I felt. And next, I heard in my spirit a voice telling me words like this- if you do not come back to God, you will be left behind, when the Lord Jesus comes back to take His people, all these happy people that are singing now, you will not be there, you will be left, you will be out!
All this event was so shocking to me and so new I was absolutely petrified, and all the time during that service I could not breathe normally and was terribly struggling, terrified by being so rejected. God let me feel how it is like to be rejected by Him. I think that the Lord Jesus felt something similar on the cross. I cannot describe how terrible that experience was was. At the end of that meeting when I left the church my breating came back to normal but I was so shaken I said, Oh my Lord! I will never leave you again! I will walk with you till the end of my life!
Since that time I have been walking with Jesus all the way, which is about 8 years now. He has been teaching me and trying me, testing and checking, He took me through fire and dark hours of despair but I spent hours on my knees crying to Him for help. He taught me, strengthen me and trained me.
My battle lasted two years, during which I was taught by Holy Spirit how to fight the devil and his evil attacks. He showed me that the Satan cannot do anything without God permission and if God permits something it is always for our good, because it is God that has control over all things. One night, I was on my knees crying rivers of tears to God to help me, to give me peace in my mind and set me free from depression, fear and many other torments, and He came, He delivered me from all those problems! I was delivered from evil spirits who were causing it! It was real deliverance done by Lord Jesus alone, my first deliverance in my life by the power of the Lord God Almighty, the Creator of all things, He came down and rescued me, I am still in awe of that event. Psalm 18 speaks about my deliverance. Unfortunately, I could not find any help in churches, as they do not practise deliverance. Id it was not for the mercy of the Lord Jesus, I could be in a very bad place now.
All Christians should believe the bible and know how to do deliverance! If the Lord Jesus commands us to cast out demons and heal the sick in His name it is command for all Christians.
I have been set free by my Lord, Jesus Christ and it was a miracle!
All my problems were caused by sins, by worshipping other gods, by betraying the Lord Jesus and forsaking Him, also in my case, by reiki, new age, tarot cards and so on, even if I repented, demons had still power over me as the devil and his demons are not willing to go. They will keep fighting to get the sinner back but praise be to God, He uses them to train us and teach us, as He says, all things work for good for those who love Him.
When I read the bible and discovered the words of God spoken in the Old Testament, I was so shocked to learn about curses and blessings, I had no idea it was all so serious. The Lord has been merciful to me, He gave me another chance, sometimes I think, I am living now my second life on this earth because if it was not for His love and mercy, I could be in hell or in mental hospital. I am for ever grateful as the Lord Jesus has changed me from petrified mouse into a mighty warrior and witness for Him, praise be to God as He teaches my hands to war.
Praise be to the Lord my Rock,
who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle.
He is my loving God and my fortress,
my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield, in whom I take refuge,
Hear me people, God is real, Satan is real, and every word in the Bible is true! I believe that any mental illness is caused by demons and I challenge you to find at least one example in the gospel of Jesus healing people from mental illness. You will not find it as He just cast out demons of all those tormented people. Before the Lord called me back to Himself I had no idea that demons are real, satan and hell exist but the Lord Jesus showed me the truth and He took me through deep waters of black despair into His marvellous light and victory. We are all lost without Jesus. God gave me back sound mind because I repented and was seeking Him with all my heart. He also gave me one chance after another to be set free. If you have any similar problems please do not ever give up, The Lord Jesus wants to help you but you need to get to know Him, you need to be extremely serious and believe every word of God like a little child, this is radical Christianity, there is no other God but Jesus Christ, He is the One with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Be very diligent, seek Him, Read the Bible, read Old Testament as well, you need to know God very well and what He wants from you. He wants you to love Him and He wants your heart. My God is powerful and just and He is Holy. He said – cursed is the man who trust in the flesh. Yes, there are generational curses, sins of the fathers that bring lots of troubles for us if we do not walk with Jesus Christ. It is not easy and just fun to be a Christian. If you treat God seriously and honestly He will deliver you from your troubles. Remember to pray and belive in the power of prayer, stay with Jesus in the closet, spend lots of time with Him and the bible. Yes, you have to prove that you are honest, maybe you need to cry rivers of tears at His feet like I did, but if you draw to Him, He will draw to you and show you His might and glory. My story is very long but I cannot write all details here for lack of space, but hope somebody will read it and get some hope. Repent from all your sins, ask God to give you wisdom to teach you and first of all, be humble.
Jesus Christ can heal you from panic attacks, from depression, mental illnesses and everything if you show Him that you really need Him. Repent from all your sins and stop deceiving yourself. It’s not about going to church on Sunday and singing songs, it’s about studying scriptures, praising, worshipping, talking to Him, crying to Him, treating Him like your only reliable source of love, life and help. Jesus Christ is the Son of God and He is our Healer and Deliverer, He proved it to me so many times. This is my testimony for Jesus and whoever does not believe in Him is deceived because there is no other way. He paid with His blood to rescue us from the hands of the devil, to destroy the works of the devil and to save us from our sins and hell. This is real people, this is not a game, this is a massive, atomic battle for our souls, the souls of men whom God loved so much, that He gave his only Son to die on the cross to set us free. I love you people and oh how much I would like to help you, if you only believe what God says, what He revealed in his Holy Book, you can also be set free and have eternal life to be with Him and gaze at His beauty for ever. There is nothing more beautiful than the beauty of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Below there is some more explanation and help with fighting for your deliverance and freedom.
Since the time I wrote this short story of my battle and the victory of Jesus, many things happened. I got trained by the Lord and other Christians in deliverance, I got delivered many times after that from various spirits that came through generational curses and hundreds of others that I had no idea where still in me. I received lots of teaching by the Holy Spirit, I have been shown how many dark spots (sins) were still in me that the Lord wanted to get rid of. Basically, to be the son of God means to walk in holiness and when we walk in the Holy Spirit and with the Lord Jesus in us, He helps us to be cleansed from all sins, to be like Him. We have to make an effort to be holy. Demons will do all things possible to attack us in various ways and make us sin, so it is a daily battle against sin, but the Lord is patient and loving and kind and so helpful.
Also, it is very important to be humble and honest before the Lord. He knows everything about us and it is Him who delivers us and knows when we are ready to be set free.
There is also lots of great free teaching on Lake Hamilton Bible Camp http://lhbconline.com/, you can learn so much from those people and also to be set free from various problems.
I got delivered also from spirits of smoking, last october 3 years passed since I don’t smoke and I was a heavy smoker, reading my bible and smoking at the same time, 35 years of smoking, Jesus delivered me from it in one session, to Him be the glory! I would have never ever stopped smoking myself.
Try to learn as much as possible from the bible, who God is and how to please God. Demons hate the word of God so read it aloud. Fasting is also powerful weapon against the enemy. One time I managed to fast for full 7 days, in the middle of the fast the Lord delivered me while I was reading the bible aloud, demons started manifesting and I was lead by the H. Spirit to cast demons out of myself, which I did and it was quite a battle. I also got baptized in water in my church after a few years of waiting, that was another powerful way to get rid of more demons and get closer to my Jesus. We are basically infested with demons, it is like never ending but the less we sin the less access they have to us, that’s why the Lord wants us to walk in holiness,so we can say like Jesus, the devil has nothing in me. And this is the condition to keep deliverance, we need to walk close to Jesus always. I want also to say something about praise. Praise is another tremendous weapon against the devil and his demons. It was the first thing that I was shown by the Holy Spirit when in torment, to praise the Lord, no matter how miserable we are, this works amazingly, praise Him, always, praise with psalms and hymns and songs, the best songs are those based on the word of God, sing for Him, love Him, praise brings God’s presence and blessings, so put the holy music on and sing in the evening or morning, spend time with Him, connect with Him in the Spirit, think how Holy and AWESOME the Lord is, worship Him on your knees or even on your face. One thing more, it is not us who decide which spirit is to go, it is the Lord, He is the King of all, so if there is any pride in us or any bitterness, unforgiveness or unbelief, deliverance may be difficult. You must have humble and repentant, forgiving heart to get the miracle of deliverance. So if you have troubles and deliverance is not coming, ask the Holy Spirit to show you if there is any pride in you or unforgiveness. He will do it.
It is good to read Old Testament,(Deuteronomy, Leviticus), and know all the curses, described there, it makes it easier to understand why we have problems. I was in deliverance ministry for two years and I saw people who did not get delivered.The reasons I think were inside, there was wrong attitude in the heart or they were not ready. We really have to be like children and trust Jesus totally, if you do not have faith, ask Him, ask Him for all things, for the hunger of His word, hunger of Him, for desire to fast, for all things we need, we can ask. He is faithful and will do it. Get His word into your heart. I listen to the bible on mp3 whenever I walk somewhere, or in bed, listen to it on my computer, read it every morning, pray with psalms, sing songs, praise Him, and so on, it’s continuous connection with the Lord. Of course it happens that you cannot do it every day, but I am trying to be disciplined cause I know how weak I am without my Lord.
One more thing is to take communion every day or as often as possible, you can do it alone at home, confess your sins first, take some bread and juice, read the words of Jesus during last supper and do it. He said: Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.
Do not be passive and do not wait until somebody comes and delivers you, keep fighting, learning, pursuing the Lord, and He will reward you.
I am very glad that my testimony is helping people, I started writing a book where I am going to describe much more and many more people could get understanding and help. We are living in times when more and more people will have this kind of demonic problems, and I believe each one of us can be used for the glory of God to help others. The Lord has changed me from a terrified, tormented mouse into a bold, strong soldier for Him, so He can do it for you as well.
He will teach you and train you, deliver you and make you minister of fire, ready to help others.
I have all my walls covered with scriptures that remind me about the power of God.
Additionally, I suggest listening to the best old school preachers, like David Wilkerson, Ben Crandall, Derek Prince or Paul Washer, open your hearts and listen, this is pure gospel and we need to be taught by the best of God’s people. Do not follow any prosperity teachers from faith movement, it is very important not to fall into deception, find a small, evangelical church, with simple gospel teaching and old hymns being still sang.
All things must be as they are in the bible. I have so much more to say but it would take me hours, so I will finish now. I hope it will help you even more, remember the battle is won. The devil is like the pharaoh, when people of God wanted to leave Egypt. Moses would ask him many times, let my people go but he will not do it. The same is with the devil, he will try all kinds of tricks to keep you in bondage, but when you walk with Jesus and roar at him with the mighty voice of Christ, knowing what you are doing, what the blood of Jesus did for you and who you are in Christ, He will have to go.
So, getting freedom will take some time, but remember our God is not cheap, we need to put lots of effort to get to know Him and prove that we are serious, there is no turning back, when we get delivered we need to stay close to the Lord for ever. He wants us in heaven, and the price He paid for us was very high. I just remembered, psalms are very powerful to fight all kinds of demonic oppression, read them aloud, all psalms about defeating the enemy, like 18 or 118, and psalms praising God. Book of proverbs will show you more about your sins, and will open your eyes as well. I was healed when confessing my sins found there. I was healed when the Holy Spirit showed me that I was attacked by the spirit of cancer, I cast it out and was healed. Mostly I meet Christians that do not believe it, they think I am a demon crazy and they do not believe in healing, this really is very frustrating because the Lord Jesus said that we will be doing even greater things than Him and He proved to me many times that it is all about faith, those who do not believe, will not receive nothing. It must be really hurting Him so badly, if it is hurting me so much when people do not believe my testimony.
We are the children of the living God, we have all power and authority to cast out demons, and heal the sick, all Christians need to believe it.
These things above are tactics that I was taught by the Holy Spirit, when there was nobody to help me but the Lord, and the church people still tell me to shut up as they do not want to talk about demons. Happy is he who belongs to the church with full gospel, including miracles of deliverance.